what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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