i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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