she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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