I could make wine with my vomit
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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