I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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