Umm I'm too high to move.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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