Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
