Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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