my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
