just tell him i said nine months
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
