Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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