So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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