TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
