16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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