I hate your face
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize
