Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize