he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Alive.
So much puke
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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