Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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