Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
