Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize