Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
