You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
