You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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