i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
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