summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
