I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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