I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
