i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
