she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
