i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize