I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
