Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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