id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
