i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
