I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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