so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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