david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
