i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
