Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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