I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
