just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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