I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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