nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
