we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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