I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
