Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
