i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Randomize
