Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Randomize
