it was like eating out sand paper
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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