Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
and she was petting her beer can
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Randomize
