Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
