I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
