Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
