I think I am morally bankrupt
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
