There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
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