youre lurking in front of me
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize